The Heart of a Spade

I pray to be a woman after God's own heart. I don't want the heart of a spade that plays games to get their way because Jesus told us that he is the way. So if he's the way then that means our way isn't the way to go and sometimes getting our way isn't what's for the best. I just wish to be so close to him that i become a mirror who's pleased with it's reflection. A picture to capture his lovely essence; since i’ve asked this of the LORD, he’s been purifying and refining my core. Working out the issues in my once stoney little heart that only feels for myself but made new into a stronger heart of flesh, that feels the wind, the sounds, the touch of God and all his creation all around. This heart beats strong and as deeply as it feels, the pain deepens. God searches for the heart and will put it to the test. it’s so easy to love  when things are going good. when you’re only on the surface but once you dive deep in the blue sea and notice things you’d rather not see. suddenly, revelation comes over me: “did they, who say they did, ever really love me?”

but God is saying can you still show love to those who you know resent you, who’s pride inside of them rises up against you? Can you still pray for those who curse you? Can  you save who once intended to do you harm? Will you show mercy when they had no mercy for you? Would you give them your best, when they only gave you their scraps? Could you bless those who took everything they gave to you back?  How true is your love when you’re resisted, rejected and not well received? will you remain faithful to what you prayed for and refuse to shuffle the cards life gives you or will you give in because pride lied and said you were being played? The truth is…you don’t know shame until God reveals the heart of a spade.  

© truly.sincerelyy 


5/27/24

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