The waiting room

my childhood has come and gone but that inner child in us all still remains. and we are to put away childish things as we grow into adulthood but one thing does remain is that child like spirit. At times, i become like a child in my born again walk. I'm crawling trying to walk and i am always crying out with my arms stretched out, wanting my father to pick me up but he's like, okay, it's time that you learn to walk this faith out on your own, my daughter. But I don't feel ready. I don't know what I'm doing. No one around me has shown me how to do this but the LORD constantly reiterates to me: "I am with you". Then reminding me that since he is with me, who can be against me? That since he is with me, all things are possible. 

The Holy spirit is turning my attention to who I need to learn from. The Holy spirit has been teaching me how to study the word. I couldn't possibly understand the things of the spirit without the spirit guiding me. God first sent me the Holy Spirit as a comforter to me, when I was at my lowest. When I lost all hope. When I said, "LORD, I have been hopeful, I live a humble life, I give love and I don't always get in return. I have believed in what I couldn't see. I left my old lifestyle behind, so why is my suffering increasing? Why have I lost so many friends but gain so many enemies? What is happening? It's baffling. I do right but it goes wrong. I stay away from trouble but trouble still finds me. But now I am coming to understand. Partially at least. Just enough to keep me going. Going back was not an option and will never be. I came too far to go back. I can't walk away from God. He's all I have. He's all I want. Nothing can separate us. We are connected. I am a bride waiting to walk down the aisle with the bridegroom. Then scripture reminds us to just wait a little while longer. He waited on me, so patiently for me seek him, so i will wait on him. In faith, In hope and above all... In Love.